Monday, 13 June 2011

Worst Movies Ever?

What constitutes a bad movie? Poor script, awful acting, clunky sets, lack of plot, or all of the above? Watching the deplorable The Green Hornet, I wondered this exact question. After all, we seem to know what feels like a good movie. Or do we?

Like most arts, movies are subjective. My idea of good is probably not your idea of good. For me, the mark of a truly awful film is my having to leave in the middle. Some of the films that made this grade were City of Angels (Nic Cage as a lovesick angel with a hard-as-nails Meg Ryan. Awful), Death at a Funeral (the English version, no laughs, just grossed out, bleugh), Il Postino (supposedly charming, but I wished I could chew off my own arm) and last but not least Confessions of a Shopaholic (bland, dull, just horrible).

Bad movies are not to be confused with so-bad-they're-good movies. Like The Expendables (grunting, big tough action types both old school and new), anything with a young Arnie (Predator, Commando) and First Knight (schmaltzy bad King Arthur film that I somehow enjoyed).

There are also the downright dreadful. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, Ishtar and Shanghai Surprise spring to mind. Actually for that matter most films starring Madonna - Swept Away, Who's that Girl - with the exception of Evita. Gigli is another horror. Was it Glitter with Mariah Carey that had us wishing she would sing again?

Other notable horrors include Showgirls which managed to make a swimming pool sex scene look like a death scene from Jaws, and Catwoman, which, ohplease say it isn't true, is being remade with Anne Hathaway in the title role. Good thing cats have nine lives, because Hathaway doesn't seem the feline type.

What is your worst movie of all time?

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